It’s already hard enough to find someone you actually want to spend time with, let alone start a relationship with.
When it does happen, it can be tempting to rush it along and lock it down, but what are you missing out on in the process? So many things!
Here are some of the things you miss out when you rush a relationship:
1. Becoming friends first
Have you ever heard someone who’s been married for a long time say that they married their best friend? Well, there’s something to that. When you’re looking for someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, you’re going to want to get along with them on a basic level. Deep friendships take months, even years to cultivate, and you totally rob yourself of the experience of making a new friend when you jump head-first into a new relationship.
2. The ability to retain your independence
When you rush into a relationship, there’s a pretty good chance you’re dedicating most of your time to your new beau. The problem with that is in turn, you might start neglecting yourself. It’s easy to get swept up in a new romance, but you have to keep the things that make you happy in your life. Taking time to keep up with your hobbies and friends and even start new ones will help you remain an individual in the relationship.
3. Other relationships
Just like your relationship with yourself will start slack, your relationship with the other important people in your life could come to a screeching halt. Have you ever had that friend who fell off the face of the earth as soon as she got a new boyfriend? Keep your best friends close, regardless of your relationship status.
4. Your role in the relationship
There are many dynamics that play out in relationships. Some people are more standoffish while others get clingy. When you’re getting to know someone, it’s much easier to feel out their personality and the way they show love when you take it slow. This also helps when you’re trying to understand someone. If you move too fast, you risk not being able to “get” them and their point of view about certain issues.
5. Sexual tension
Not going to lie, sexual tension in a new relationship is half the reason it’s so great to be in one. There’s nothing more seductive than the slow tease. Not only does it show your potential partner that you’re capable of delayed gratification—the epitome of being an adult—but that you’re also taking the relationship seriously.
6. Spotting red flags
The first 90 days of a relationship is when everyone is on their best behavior. So it’s no surprise that your idea of your guy will be tainted by rose-colored glasses. When you rush into something, you may force unrealistic expectations on the relationship, which will lead you to ignore the red flags.
7. Setting boundaries
Many times, people rush into relationships because something is missing in their lives and they think a relationship will heal everything. When that’s the case, personal boundaries might all but disappear. It is never okay to sacrifice yourself, standards, or your body for the sake of making a potential relationship work.